I still can't sleep. instead I increase the volume until I can't hear the rain on the roof. because it reminds me of you. and it's dark. and i dance with my eyes closed because that way it doesn't make a difference. then i wake up under wires. and it's okay it's okay it's okay. he's smoking outside and I say I don't try to sleep anymore and i miss being able to concentrate. and he says he wants a tattoo and does it hurt. did it hurt? people are surprising. you told me to stop like I was 8 and you were telling me to stop licking my lips. I wake up and they are swollen. still. you know when I said my favourite thing was the sun shining in strange places you thought I meant more than I said. I didn't. i meant exactly what i said. you shouldn't be so pretentious.